7 Important Keys to Learning How to Ask For What You Want (So You Actually Get It!)

ask for what you want

Asking questions can, in fact, be a skill anyone can master with practice. Sometimes, using a well-formed question can lead to opportunities in both our professional and personal lives.

Too often, though, we hold ourselves back from these opportunities. Our inner dialogue seems to make us second-guess ourselves and our worth. It can cause us to remain quiet instead of speaking up, but this isn’t a healthy practice.

Instead of letting others make decisions for you, it’s time to take matters into your own hands.

Learning how to ask for what you want can be life-changing. It can be the difference between getting by and taking advantage of life’s opportunities.

Continue reading to learn seven strategies that will give you the confidence to ask for what you want.

Recognize the Importance of Asking Questions in the First Place

There are many different reasons to learn how to ask questions effectively. In this article, we will focus on the professional benefits of asking well-formed questions.

Sometimes, even asking a simple question can be overwhelming. This is true, in particular, for people who struggle with social anxiety. That anxiety, though, must be overcome, if only for a minute, to ask a necessary question.

Consider, though, that assertiveness is essential for any self-developing individual. Assertiveness is a valuable trait that everyone should maintain throughout life. You’ll be happy with any investment you put into the skill of asking questions.

Determine Your True Needs

When it comes to knowing how to profit from asking questions, it starts with the question’s purpose. You might have come to this article with an idea in mind of a question you’re too afraid to ask.

Before you hype yourself up for the big moment, though, take all the time you need to reflect. It’s important to go into such a situation with a clear mindset and end goal.

Ask yourself what you’re trying to gain from this experience. Are you looking for vacation time or a raise? Are you hoping to get on an important project that could lead to future professional development?

At the end of the day, you deserve to have all your needs fulfilled at home and at work. That, though, means you first need to understand and define what your needs are. Only then can you communicate them through a question.

Plan the Phrasing of Your Question To Be Direct and Concise

Once you know what you want, you’ll need to make sure you can express it. There’s nothing worse than going to a superior at work with an idea in mind, only to stand and stutter when actually in front of him or her.

Instead of fumbling through your question during the moment of truth, plan your words ahead of time. Make sure your question clearly states exactly what you expect. Ask for all the details you need to come to a clear resolution.

Planning ahead helps you create a rough outline of the information you need to communicate. Be honest with yourself about the end goal of the question you have on your mind.

Ask the Right Person or People

Of course, it doesn’t matter how well-formed your question is if you ask the wrong person. This might seem like an obvious tip, but sometimes, it’s not clear who the recipient of important questions should be.

For example, sometimes at work, it is easy to go straight to your immediate supervisor for anything you need. This, though, might not always be the best person to ask. For some topics concerning your employment, you might do better with the Human Resources department instead.

Other times, it might even be beneficial to go to your boss’s boss. That’s a good idea when your question is something concerning your boss or a more serious frustration you’re dealing with. No matter what, remember that some questions are more sensitive than others, and it’s important to take them seriously.

Confidence Is Key

Without question, asking important question requires a certain level of confidence. In fact, being assertive and confident can benefit you in many interactions you have throughout your life.

If you find yourself struggling with confidence on a regular basis, don’t worry. You aren’t the only one with this problem.

There are plenty of strategies you can use to boost your confidence on a daily basis. You deserve to have confidence in all aspects of your life, even when you have to ask a question that might make you anxious.

Don’t Plan for a Negotiation

A lot of times, especially if you have low self-esteem, you don’t expect things to go well. It’s natural to enter into a situation, such as asking a serious question at work, with a defeatist attitude.

Don’t sell yourself short though. Don’t prepare negotiation strategies, for example, depending on multiple answers you might receive.

Instead, visualize yourself asking the question and getting exactly the answer you were looking for. If that’s not the immediate result, then stand your ground and maintain your sense of confidence.

You might still have to negotiate, but remember your end goal and focus on getting the best deal for yourself. Compromising can sell yourself, and your work, short.

Follow Up As Needed

Congratulations on asking your tough question! Remember, though, that you might have to follow up to ensure your desired outcome is going to happen. Asking the question is only one part of the process.

Learning To Ask for What You Want Is Only Part of Your Self-Improvement

By using the tips above, you should have a better sense of how to ask for what you want. You should be capable and prepared to tackle this challenge successfully.

We know how important it is to take yourself and your life seriously. We encourage you to continue your self-development throughout all of your life. That’s why we have plenty of self-improvement articles available to guide you on that journey.