Staying positive is a decision that you are forced to make and remake time and time again. Unfortunately, negative people seem to have an amazing ability to force that decision and if you’re not careful their negativity can consume you.
Here are nine positivity weapons you can use when everyone else is bringing you down.
1. Acknowledge Your Slump
Recognising that you’ve fallen into a negative slump due to your friend is the first step towards pulling yourself out of that same lull. Acknowledging your thoughts allows you to return to the positivity that you regularly create and promote in your life.
2. Prepare Yourself with a Pre-Chat Pep Talk
If you know that your interaction is likely to be filled with negativity – which can be for a huge variety of reasons – you can prepare yourself before you even begin.
Acknowledge that your friend is likely to be upset and feeling glum and make the commitment to yourself that you will choose not to take on their emotions. This way you distance your own feelings from your friend’s situation allowing you to listen attentively without getting upset.
If you find the negative self-doubt creeping in try giving yourself a compliment.
3. Get Your Friend out of Their Head
When you’re focusing on positivity within your own life and mind, it can be really tempting to cut people’s negative talk off or simply just nod in agreement and hope the topic of conversation changes quickly.
A different approach is to simply allow your friend to vent for a few minutes, before redirecting the conversation. Often people just need to rant to get the negativity out of their own minds before they can return to a more positive outlook.
If you’re nodding in agreement as your friend airs frustrations over their boss, the typo on their Starbucks cup and everything else that’s going wrong for them you’re simply reinforcing that behavior.
Try offering an alternative way to look for solutions, perhaps ask what’s going well in their life or bring up a shared interest.
Of course, if your friend is going through a life-altering event park your own feelings and be a good friend. That means listening to them rant, moan and sob as much as they need to. You know the same way you would expect them to do if the situation was reversed.
4. Set Boundaries
There’s only so much of our emotional understanding that we can give to others and that amount only gets smaller and smaller if you’re not taking care of yourself and your own needs. When we’re caught up in the drama of friends and loved ones it becomes too easy to simply forget about ourselves.
But if you’re getting frustrated with every interaction, then perhaps a break and some time apart could be healing for you, your friend and your friendship.
Try focusing on the hobbies and activities that you love or spending some time with the other people in your life. This isn’t about being judgemental or mean, it’s self-care and nobody else is going to take that responsibility for you.
5. Step Away from Technology
Being connected 24/7 can quickly get overwhelming and if you’re dealing with someone else’s issues at 11 p.m. as you wind down before bed, well you’re creating potentially serious problems for yourself.
The easiest solution is to just turn off your phone, but if this isn’t working try removing social media apps or even deactivating your accounts for a while to give yourself the space to feel better.
6. Show Gratitude
The incredible healing power of gratitude is beginning to be confirmed by science as a major contributor towards staying happy and positive. A positive mind starts with appreciating what you have.
A University of Miami study tested two groups: one group focused on things they were grateful for; the other, their irritations. The gratitude group reported feeling happier and better about themselves than the group who noted their grievances. In the same way that negativity spreads, gratitude consumes.
7. Practice Being Kind to Yourself
Our own mental commentary can be a ruthless critic and if we’re already in a bad mood, beating ourselves down comes naturally. Try giving yourself a compliment to help push away the negative self-doubt. A great way to do this is with a positive affirmation each morning to promote a healthier, kinder attitude.
8. Staying Positive
If you’ve acknowledged your negative phrases and recognize they’re bringing you down, try stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. Trying to improve isn’t always easy, but being a harsh critic will just cement the negative narrative. Ask yourself “would I say this to my best friend?” and if the answer is no, then you shouldn’t be saying it to yourself either.
9. Consider Whether This Is Someone You Want in Your Life
Breakups suck, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a platonic one, but if someone is raining negativity in your life – or they’re displaying signs of a toxic personality – you should solemnly ask if you want to spend time with them.
Hopefully, this is just an extreme case, but at times it is absolutely necessary. Work out what this friend means to you and how important it is to put in the work to maintain that friendship.
All The Ways To Stay Positive
Now you’re armed with an arsenal of positivity weapons, the negative rantings of friends or acquaintances don’t stand a chance.
Remember to acknowledge the pattern when you see negativity arising. Prepare yourself for any potentially difficult conversations with a pre-chat pep talk and when the time is right, look for ways to segue into mutual interests.
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed then don’t be afraid to set boundaries for your own mental health.
Step back from technology to allow yourself some breathing space as you recharge your brain with positivity through practicing gratitude and being kind to yourself with compliments.
Last but not least, don’t forget that you have the ability to remove chronic negativity from your life by breaking up with guilty parties.
Check out the rest of our blog for more ways on staying positive and suggestions.